Dear Angry Cat,
Why are you so mad? Did a neighborhood rodent tick you off? Did another cat throw you into the rumor mill? I don't know why you are so upset all the time, but that is really not a good way to be. The way you fly into the air, hiss and frantically growl evertime I see you is unacceptable behavior. Chill out and relax, and realize that the world is not against you. Believe me, everything will be ok.
Ok fine. Maybe if I stopped trying to snatch you off of the curb and shake you around every time I see you, you would be nicer.
See you soon. Love, Andy